"Respect"

As I am getting ready to finish out a week of Vacation Bible School, I have come to the conclusion that respect is a lost character trait among the children and youth of this generation. I went to dictionary.com and found that respect is to hold in esteem or honor. The behavior I have been seeing shows that no one is being held in esteem or honor. From parents, to teachers, to our pastor, to each other - the art of being respectful has slowly faded away.

The Bible has plenty to say about respect and honor as well. Exodus 20:12 says "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Ephesians 6:1-3 says "Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. 'Honor your father and your mother' - which is the first commandment with a promise - that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." And lastly Romans 13: 1 - 2 "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted and those who do so bring judgement on themselves."

I believe teachers fall into the latter verse. They have been given authority either by a church or a school to teach and lead children and youth. When these teachers are disrespected, ignored, talked back to - that shows to me an utter lack of respect. The norm used to be one or two bad apples in the bunch, but when you end up with 4 or 5 in a group of eight children, something is wrong!

There can be several reasons for this behavior. The children could be in an environment where respect is not taught or caught. Or they could be in a place where the parents will not let anyone correct or discipline their children. And of course there is always that child that no matter what will treat people whatever way they want.

Having worked with children and youth for almost 30 years I am finding it harder and harder to maintain order in my classes. I spend most of my time correcting disruptive behavior, chasing kids, breaking up fights, refusing to participate instead of listening and participating in what is going on.

My breaking point came last night. I was watching my co-teacher try to get the application of the lesson and nothing would move these kids to listen. And when called on to stop - the comments that were given, the attitude, the temper tantrums. It is easy to deal with one, but when you have 4 acting in that manner your hands become tied. My co - teacher just broke down. I had to step in and take charge and move from teacher to police warden, a role that I hate and one that I should not have to use. Then the excuses start. It was so and so's fault, I don't have to listen to you, my dad said I could do it. And in some cases all that is true. Parents. do you not realize the damage you are doing to your children by not teaching them how to respect adults and especially those in charge? If they don't learn now, how are they going to act when they start a job or join the military? Tell their boss or leader off? Run away and scream?

The thing that scares me the most is that this generation will be making decisions for me when I am old! Not a pleasant thought.

But a word of encouragement to those who teach your children manners, respect and how to behave, don't grow weary in doing good! Keep it up. The world may teach that character and values and respect are old fashioned and not needed in today's world. God says they are!

One of my favorite shows to watch is "19 Kids and Counting." I know, I know. Think of this though, when their oldest Josh was little they found a home school program that emphasized character and values. From the beginning to the end these values are taught. What a legacy to leave to your children. What a way to show the world that we believe this way is right.

Well I guess I am done with my soapbox. And if you see my daughter acting up, call her on it! She was raised to know better!

Working With Youth

When I tell people that I work with teenagers I get so many responses. Are you crazy? They could not pay me enough to work with teenagers. Are you a glutton for punishment? The list goes on.

Over recent months I have had a lot of things disrupt and discourage me in my ministry to youth. Parents who expect me to be a miracle worker and want their youth changed immediately, parents who think my job is to baby sit their youth (i.e. take to and from church, feed them) or parents that think that being controlling is the way to be.

Thankfully, I have some awesome parents as well. One mom sent me a Facebook message thanking me for all that I do for her youth. I have another mom who is always ready to step in and help when I need it. I am so thankful for these parents. It is these parents who make me feel I am making a difference in their teenager's lives.

One thing I do not like is when any one complains about my youth or accuses them of things they do not do. Just as if they are my own children, I will fight for them, defend them and give them the best I can. They eat my food, trash my house, drive me crazy but God has entrusted them to me. My job is to lead them to a relationship with Jesus, teach them how to live out their faith in a world that is getting harder and harder to stay strong in. I take that responsibility seriously. Sometimes I am a parent to them because they need that from me.

So why work with youth? First and foremost that is the calling God has put on my life. Secondly, I love teenagers! Sure I get lots of drama, anger, mood swings but when a Bible study runs over because they are asking questions that makes up for it. When I have youth that have moved on to young adults and still call  me for advice, that makes up for it. And when I watch the joy of a youth accept Jesus as their personal Lord and Saviour, well you can imagine the depth of my feelings.

I have been working with youth for over 25 years and I always joke that my time will soon be over. But I have this feeling God is going to keep where I am for many years to come!

From my first ever group of teenagers I worked with  (Peggy, Mimi, Esther, Judy, Ronda, Julie, La Verne and Bobby) to  my current group of crazies (Ashley S, Ashley K, Tiana, Wyeth, Elena, Joshua, Tyus, Quentin, Anthony and Sean), I am so thankful for you. You are the reason I plot and plan and pray to reach you and your friends. You are what keeps me up at night, praying and worrying about the things you are going through. You are the reason a 48 year old woman stays up all night at lock ins, plays laser tag, goes to six Flags (and I don't like big rides anymore!). You are the reason I push you to be more than you are because God has an awesome plan for you. I want to make sure you are as ready as you can be to step out,

Thank you, God, for giving me the joy and honor for working with a group that most people don't even like to be around! This is why I work with youth! And this is why I will continue to, no matter what people say or what Satan does to discourage me.

"I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength" - Philippans 4:13

How do you do a to do list, when you wear so many different hats?

Lately, as I have reading my Facebook posts by various friends and pages I follow, I am reminded again how important a to do list is. You should have one, you need to have this and this on it or you need to carry it with you at all times. Makes my head spin all the ways you can have a list.

Now I am not putting down lists. I used to list all the time. The problem is with all the hats I wear I end up with several different lists! I have tried to merge them all together and end up with chaos. My working on filing  can get interrupted with my pastor needed my opinion on something. I could be in the middle of a work out, when a friend calls and needs a shoulder to cry on. I could be headed out the door on a date with my husband and one of Wyeth's friends has a problem and she needs my advice A.S.A.P!

What does one do when their roles or hats change through out the day? I am a wife, mother, daughter, grandmother, friend, ministry assistant, youth director, church member, choir member and the list can go on and on. While doing one task something else more important shows up and I have to decide how to fit it in.

Tonight I thought I would make a to do list and it included several of the hats I wear. And guess what? My list will not be completed. I can carry over to tomorrow or start a new list or just give up.

Am I alone in this? Should we have a group that stands for "I Hate Lists!" But I guess not because I am headed over to a meeting at church which will give me more things to put on my list tomorrow.

Spring! Spring! Spring!

While the calendar has been saying spring is already here, for us in southern California it has been in hiding. At least, until today!

Today was the first day I felt as soon as I woke up that it was spring. When spring comes, I usually wake up refreshed and energized! Today was no different. I was wide awake at 7:15 a.m. After some coffee and time on the computer I was ready to start my day. It was like a surge of energy took over! Starting with my shower, taking Hank for a walk outside in the already warm area truly refreshed me even more.

I moved on to wash, cleaning our bedroom and organizing my book shelves. (which takes a long time because I like mine to be in alphabetical order!). Then to errands with Lars. After a break for lunch we will be headed out to run some more. Then to do work outside in the beautiful sunshine. It is like God had saved this special day just for me.

There is a lot to be said about the refreshing one feels after the long winter. How birds chirping and the sun shining can change your perspective on what you are doing! If only we treated our personal relationship with Jesus like that. When it seems like we have been in the dread of winter, not getting out, withdrawing into our shells - we need to ask God to give us that refreshing. That renewal in our spirits to move forward and grow. As new plants need sun, water and food - we need to be feeding on what He gives us to grow. To show us what His plans are for us as we move forward from spring to summer.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not tho harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

May you enjoy spring where you are today.

Weight Loss and The Biggest Loser

Hello! My name is Jennifer and I am a Biggest Loser Addict. There I have said it. All thanks to a friend named Ora, who during the 2nd season, got myself and Wyeth hooked. I remember leaving her house during a commercial and stopping at a McDonald's drive thru for dinner!

And that is how I spent many of those first seasons watching The Biggest Loser. Sitting on the couch and eating, eating and eating. My life was not always that way, though. I was thin, healthy and in shape. However, I am a stress eater. When things become too difficult I eat. And when things are going so well I eat. I was dealing with a stressful period in my life. Suddenly single after almost 18 years of marriage. Having 3 girls to raise and go back to work after years of being a stay at home mom took a toll on me. I ate and ate and was too tired to do anything physical.

The more I watched The Biggest Loser the more I realized I had to something. Both of my grandmother's had gotten adult onset diabetes. I was slowly becoming a candidate for high blood pressure, stroke and even heart attack.

Then I made the most wonderful man, who is now my husband. He loved me for me and did not seem to mind the weight I was carrying. For awhile it was okay. But as the wedding day approached, I was getting nervous. It was hard to find a dress that looked right on me, but I managed to.Yet I still did nothing, Whether it was fear or not really seeing who I was, I still did nothing. My oldest daughter, Tierney, had given me a membership to 24 Hour Fitness for my birthday and I barely used it!

Finally in 2008 I had reached my breaking point. I was at an all night lock in with my youth and I could not keep up. I had trouble staying awake and doing any of the fun games with them. Looking back at pictures from that time, I almost cried. And wondered why no one said anything.

I joined Weight Watchers and started going back to the gym. And for awhile I was making progress. But then I hit another major stressful event in my life. One of my dear little old ladies from church, who was always like a mom to me, was put in the hospital. I had become her caregiver and  was trying to pack up her apartment so that when she was released she could move into assisted living. So between her, my job, my family, church etc my days got longer and longer. I worried more and ate and ate and ate. The lessons I had learned helped a little and I did not gain much back. But it was apparent I needed to do something again. Eventually Lottie went home to be with the Lord and my pastor (my boss) insisted I take Fridays off. So slowly I started getting back in track.

I returned back to Weight Watchers in 2010. Started really taking to heart what I learned. If I did not make it to the gym, I had dvds at home to use. Went on long walks with my husband. Have some great friends at church, Karen and Becky, who are also on Weight Watchers to encourage me. I also started paying more attention to the one on one conversations Bob or Jillian would have with the contestants. I was slowly learning that I had to learn to find other ways to deal with my stress. Food had to become my friend, not my enemy. I am now eating more healthy! Thanks to my friend Patti, I am learning more and more about clean eating and to keep working out.

And as to my Biggest Loser addiction? I am still there. Several of my dvds are Biggest Loser ones. I have a couple Jillian Michaels as well and even own one by her for my Wii. And she yells at me on the Wii when I don't get my push ups right.

Last night as The Biggest Loser was in New Zealand, I saw the glow on some of the ladies faces. How happy they were with who they were becoming and I was thinking I want that to be me! Monday night I reached my 10% weight loss from my starting weight at Weight Watchers. I can now see the changes in me and know now that this is a life style change. I will have to live like this the rest of my life and I am excited! I want to eat better, I  want to work out more.

All in all, I still have about 85 pounds to lose to get where my doctor wants me. But I am up to the challenge. I want to be in the best shape to do my job at church, to keep up with my youth group, not worry about diseases that I can prevent, be fun around my family. And yes, I have a bit of vanity. I want to look good in a bathing suit again.

So as I complete my novel for the day, I just need to remember that life is a journey. I need to be strong and healthy in my relationship with God and I need to have my body strong and healthy in order to live the life He has given me.

My favorite verse ever "I can do all things, through Him (God) who strengthens me" - Philippans 4:13

Why Blog?

As I begin to write this I am thinking why even blog? What do I have to say that anyone could possibly want to read? But then I think - well my Facebook status updates and picture captions get some interesting comments, so why not?

I am sure like everything else in my life, this blog will be updated, corrected at the most busy time in my day. Since my days/weeks have some of the most random things happening, one will never know what to expect when I finally put to paper (so to speak) what the muse has struck me with.

So feel free to read, to share your thoughts (but please be kind in those thoughts). You may all come to the same conclusion. I am still a frustrated teenager caught inside the body of a 47 yr old woman! But I will say my life is never dull or boring.

So until we meet again, good night and sweet dreams!